The last several weeks have brought a season of deep reflection in my journey. From conversations in the community to the response that I have seen around the COVID-19 crisis and the racial tension we face today, I am deeply stirred. As followers of Jesus, but more to the point as a follower of Jesus, I am heartbroken at the accusations, attacks, and anger that have been expressed, I witness so much arguing and so little acknowledging. Today, I sense a deep need to acknowledge my own weakness and failure and I’m sharing that with you today.
Throughout the pages of Scripture, we find a repeated invitation to a spiritual discipline called “confession.” Webster defines a confession as a “statement acknowledging one’s guilt.” (James 5:16, 1 John 1:9) Increasingly, I have felt the need to write such a confession acknowledging my guilt, failure, and shortcomings.
Therefore, as a follower of Jesus and a leader in His church I confess that…
At times, I have abandoned the gospel for a kind of “cultural Christianity.” I have loved programs, power, and popularity more than I have cherished relationships, humility, and others centered love. By the grace of Christ, today I repent.
I confess that, at times, I have sold myself in allegiance, finding identity in political parties rather than being a citizen of God’s Kingdom. There have been times when I’ve traded Jesus’ ethic of love for our neighbor for a rhetoric of legislative morality. I have sought easy answers to people’s problems rather than genuinely entering into their pain. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
I confess that I have traded being “right” for being “righteous.” As a steward of God’s word, I have, at times, championed winning the argument without stepping into the pain, struggle, and humanity of another person. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
I confess that ,at times, I have abandoned biblical and gospel fidelity in my ignorance and denial of racism, privilege, and power inequities. I have lost sight of the fact that each person is created in God’s image, a precious treasure in His sight and instead have turned a blind eye to the divisions, segregations, and disunity that plague our society. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
I confess that I have loved comfort and security more than I have loved Christ and His Kingdom. At times, I have allowed a spirit of self-protection to keep me from answering Jesus’ high call to die to myself. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
I confess trying to “fix” before “feeling.” I have allowed visions of issues, threats, and fear to blind me from seeing suffering and oppression. I have at times lost sight that each person is created in the image of God and we are called to love as He loved. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
I confess that I have compromised on the authority of God’s word by neglecting a care for the poor, a radical commitment to Jesus, and harboring unforgiveness in my heart. I have turned aside from reconciliation forgetting Jesus’ call to love even my enemies. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
I confess that I have allowed a divided love for Jesus and his commands to infiltrate my heart. I have found my identity in power, possessions, and even in my role as a pastor. I have allowed self-rejection and insecurity to drive me away from relationships rather than driving me towards seeing the glory of Christ in another. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
I confess that I have relied on my own power, strength, and abilities. I have tried to do HIS work in MY power. I have looked to methods, programs, and curricula rather than to a humble acknowledgement of my utter dependance upon God. Prayer has become a supplement to work rather than THE work. Transformation is a supernatural act but I have worked to do it in my own power-and dismally failed. Today, by the grace of Christ, I repent.
Today, I bear witness to my failures and commit again to a renewed vision of the Kingdom. I commit to abandoning the false beliefs, indifference, and pride that blind me from living as Jesus did.
Before my brothers and sisters, I confess my sin and prayerfully ask that they would remind, challenge, and rebuke me as needed to call me to the truth. May He have mercy and out of his steadfast love forgive.
In the hope of His steadfast love.
Ryan
Wow. Of all the attributes that a pastor is “supposed” to have, what I always value the most is transparency and humility. That’s what gives me the most hope. I don’t need to hear a perfect sermon. Give me a pastor any day that openly admits that they struggle, and HOW they struggle. You moved me to tears and encouraged me at the same time.